Frieza's Secret Form
by SaiyanArchangel
Summary: A humorous semi-romance set on Namek in the Frieza saga. Bulma finds Vegeta and Frieza fighting, but shortly after her arrival the two warriors battle over her! What's gonna happen?


Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or any characters on the show. So don't sue me, you wouldn't get much anyway.  
  
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The sun beat down heavily on my face, sweat rolling in what felt like  
  
sheets down into my eyes. "Why me?" I sighed, stopping on the  
  
sand. "I can't believe that I actually wanted to come to this planet.  
  
I'm all alone in this...place...where nobody cares about me." I was  
  
so frustrated and it'd been so long since I'd seen another living  
  
thing I would've welcomed the sight of Yamcha. The very thought of  
  
his name irritated me so much that I couldn't stand still, so I  
  
walked on even faster than I had before. About then I swore I could  
  
hear yelling up ahead...and I was also on solid ground again. I tried  
  
for a moment to blame my situation on Yamcha, but again I found  
  
myself extremely agitated. The yelling was at last distinct...it was  
  
Gohan! I was so overjoyed at hearing his yell that I decided not to  
  
kill he and Krillin both for leaving me alone to rot.  
  
I grinned broadly and ran towards the voice.  
  
"Dende!" he yelled. Hmm....the little Namekian boy...I wondered what  
  
had happened.  
  
"Krillin! Gohan!" I called. Krillin turned and smiled at me.  
  
"Bulma!" Gohan replied happily.  
  
"Get over here, Bulma, and shhhhhh!" Krillin scolded.  
  
I was just about to change my mind about sparing Krillin, but I then  
  
saw why he'd silenced me.  
  
Only fifty yards away, Vegeta and Frieza were in a deadlock. Their  
  
arms were locked together, each trying to keep the other at a safe  
  
distance so that no damage could be done.  
  
Frieza looked pretty upset. Then I noticed something that I had tried  
  
to ignore on a couple previous occasions...Vegeta. The physical force  
  
on his arms made the muscles really stand out. I felt myself slipping  
  
off into a daydream. "Oh..wow..." I said rather dazedly. Gohan nodded.  
  
"Yeah, it is pretty crazy. So far, Vegeta hasn't gotten hit yet, but  
  
then again he and Frieza have only been fighting a minute or two."  
  
Still in the dazed state, I shook my head slowly. "No, no,  
  
Gohan...not the fighting." My subconscious tried to snap me out of  
  
it, but I was so overwhelmed at seeing a man with a body like that, I  
  
couldn't come out of it. "Look at the muscles on Vegeta's  
  
arms...whoa..."  
  
Krillin rolled his eyes. "Oh, boy. Here she goes again." Had I been  
  
in this reality I would've hit him, but for now he was safe.  
  
A couple moments later I became aware that Frieza was staring at me.  
  
I snapped out of my daydream and looked at the guy that even Goku was  
  
afraid of, they said. He looked pretty stupid to me, with his jaw  
  
dropped down and his eyes all bulged out. But if I was Goku and  
  
Frieza looked at me like that, I'd have been scared too.  
  
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Vegeta's laughter. The  
  
sound of it sent a small shiver up my spine and a small smile to my  
  
lips. My reaction shocked me.  
  
"Yes, Frieza, she is quite a bit better-looking than your, ah, friend  
  
Zarbon...I can see why you're shocked." I did a mental double-take  
  
just then. My face was getting red, I could tell, but I forced myself  
  
to calm down. The wheels started turning...I could really make use of  
  
this situation.  
  
Frieza closed his mouth, finally, and glared back at Vegeta.  
  
"Oh, really, monkey-boy, what would you know, you tail-less little  
  
cretin?"  
  
I figured Vegeta would kill him for that, but he just laughed.  
  
"Obviously a good deal more than you, Frieza."  
  
Frieza rolled his eyes. "You idiot! She wouldn't fall for you if  
  
you..." Vegeta's fist slammed into Frieza's face. I enjoyed the  
  
crunching sound, but I would've liked to hear the end of Frieza's  
  
comment.  
  
Frieza rubbed his jaw, but he was still smiling. "Well, my insecure  
  
friend, if you don't believe what I'm telling you, maybe it'll sink in  
  
better if I show you." Vegeta's eyes widened with horror.  
  
Frieza grabbed a tiny zipper under his chin and pulled it. I locked  
  
my gaze on Vegeta, hoping that whatever Frieza was about to become  
  
was tolerable.  
  
I could tell that Frieza was done by the expression on Vegeta's face.  
  
He didn't look too sick, so I risked a glance at Frieza.  
  
I was happily surprised at what I saw. Frieza was pretty cut, with a  
  
nice tan, beautiful green eyes and short spiky red hair. He wore a  
  
tight black shirt and loose black pants that were held up with a  
  
silver-buckled black leather belt.  
  
Frieza smiled at me, showing off his perfect white teeth, and then  
  
glared angrily at Vegeta.  
  
"Well, Frieza, I certainly hope you're in a real good mood. After  
  
all, you can only get so depressed.." And with that, Vegeta pulled  
  
his armor off over his head, winked at me, and then pulled off his  
  
undershirt.  
  
I think that the temperature must've gone up about twenty degrees  
  
just then, as I found myself craving a giant glass of water...among  
  
other things...  
  
I began to walk slowly over towards the two men, my subconscious  
  
screaming at me to stop right where I was. But I just couldn't  
  
resist. I stopped about a foot from Vegeta and prodded his abs with  
  
my right index finger. There was absolutely no give. Frieza coughed  
  
impatiently. To make it all seem fair, I walked to Frieza also and  
  
prodded his abs with the same finger. I didn't feel any give either,  
  
but I couldn't be as sure with the fabric of his shirt in the way.  
  
As I backed up, thinking the whole time, Frieza chuckled and pulled  
  
his shirt off.  
  
"Sorry, Prince, but I have to do this. I'm much more powerful than  
  
you, and also much better-looking. So of course the girl will take  
  
me, and you will run off crying to your dead mommy with your little  
  
monkey-tail between your legs. Oh, dear, I forgot...you don't have a  
  
tail any longer." Vegeta bared his teeth. "It seems, however, that  
  
you still don't understand these simple truths. Maybe it'll dawn on  
  
you someday."  
  
Frieza grinned pridefully at me and began to undo his belt.  
  
I closed my eyes and prayed silently that he'd surprise me as nicely  
  
as he had before. And if he didn't, I prayed that I wouldn't laugh. I  
  
imagined that even in this state, Frieza still had a massive power  
  
reading. And I knew that I didn't.  
  
Frieza laughed, ending my plea. I opened my eyes slowly and looked at  
  
him. He was wearing purple Spandex shorts, and it soon became obvious  
  
to me that an asexual can't just change their mind at any time they  
  
please. I stopped the laugh that tried to burst out right then. But I  
  
forced myself to look impressed. If Frieza became enraged for any  
  
reason, I might just find myself dead. I took a step toward Frieza  
  
and pressed my right index finger into his thigh. That's a real  
  
shame, I thought. The thigh wasn't the problem at all. I smiled  
  
inwardly at the wonders of being beautiful.  
  
My reverie was ended abruptly by Vegeta's laughter. "Well I hope  
  
you're in a real good mood, Frieza. After all, you can only get so  
  
depressed."  
  
Frieza glared at Vegeta. The utter unmasked hatred in Frieza's stare  
  
was incredible.  
  
Vegeta simply shrugged at hooked his thumbs in his pants. I mustered  
  
up all of my willpower to keep myself from passing out, not to click my heels and to  
  
never be without water again. My mouth felt like the desert I'd been  
  
in a while ago, and my desperate swallow did absolutely nothing to  
  
help.  
  
He struggled for a moment, but just before I could volunteer my help,  
  
he tugged sharply and his pants tore off. I felt so incredibly  
  
lightheaded that I knew I wouldn't be standing much longer. I felt  
  
myself starting to fall but just when I figured I'd hit, I felt  
  
Vegeta's hand on my shoulder steadying me. It helped, but not too  
  
much. My shoulder was practically burning, and my heart felt next-to-  
  
exploding.  
  
Frieza was screaming bloody murder that Vegeta was cheating. Somehow  
  
I felt that the rules had been announced when I hadn't been paying  
  
attention. I was about to tell Frieza to shut up, but before I could,  
  
Vegeta spoke.  
  
His voice shook a bit, but he was sure a lot calmer than I was. "Why,  
  
Frieza, I'm shocked! Certainly you wouldn't want the woman to pass  
  
out, now would you?" Oh, no, I thought, closing my eyes, wouldn't  
  
want that to happen. If I fell down I'd be sure to take you with me  
  
and then Frieza would really have something to cry 'foul' about.  
  
Frieza laughed, his voice shaking so much that I could tell his face  
  
was bright red with rage. "Ha! I'm sure it's just a delayed reaction  
  
to my godly self." Ding ding, I thought with a shaky internal laugh. I  
  
breathed as deeply as possible and opened my eyes. Sure enough,  
  
Frieza was bright red, and Vegeta was smirking like it was going out  
  
of style.  
  
Frieza growled and flexed his muscles, trying to get me to somehow  
  
overlook the fact that as good as Vegeta looked, Frieza might has  
  
well be Roshi naked. The thought of that sick old man slowed my heart  
  
down very fast, and I stepped back from Vegeta. He looked at me  
  
quizzically for a brief moment, then turned to face Frieza with a  
  
smirk, undoubtedly going to rub his imminent victory in Frieza's face  
  
a little more. All their talk was beginning to bore me, so I instead  
  
took the time to admire the fact that Vegeta looked just as good from  
  
the back in those black Spandex shorts as he did from the front. My  
  
heart raced again, and this time I could do nothing to stop my knees  
  
from giving out totally. I was sure that I was about to crash, but  
  
again Vegeta caught me, this time holding me tightly to him.  
  
My arms went about his neck reflexively. I thought to myself that as  
  
clouded as my eyes must be I probably looked like a 12-step dropout.  
  
Again I was wrong, as Vegeta kissed me lightly on my lips. I passed  
  
out.  
  
When opened my eyes, I was still in Vegeta's arms but I was looking  
  
over his shoulder. It felt like my chest was about to explode. My  
  
vision focused and I saw Zarbon and Frieza holding hands, preparing  
  
to fly off together. I closed my eyes again, and focused on  
  
breathing. I knew I'd never be able to catch my breath, and evidently  
  
so did Vegeta. He laughed softly at me. My mind had cleared enough by  
  
now for me to realize that he wasn't quite as calm as I'd initially  
  
believed. Laughing to myself, I realized that I could really make use  
  
of this situation.  
  
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End file.
